late at night and nth better to do and i just had to go look through the old photos.
it just brings back so much memories. Krabi trip, Laos! omg. and so much old photos with WWY. and i wasn't that fat before. oh god. it just makes me miss all those times! oh god. and now all there is left is just hall stuff. i mean i have fun and everything. but it's still not the same as before. poly time was where i had my fun. my life. i love it. and i miss every single thing about it. nothing is just the same. things change. and uni sucks and hall just feels like this fake place in my life that i try to make things look happier than it seem cause the rest of my life sucks and it's the only place where i can make it feel like things are alright again.
i dunno. i'm only two and a half years left with uni. i hope i can get through it. and if somehow or rather i'm able to make uni life awesome then tt's good. but no matter how awesome it is i know that it would never be the same as poly. at this moment i just wish i can tell everyone in my poly life that make it so awesome that i miss them right now.
okay just saying.
haiii.

i just need the force to be with me for the next two and a half weeks. please please please.

Self Pep Talk

5 more weeks till school is officially over! =) jiayou alison hang in there. for now your regiment shall be wake up go school, GO FOR ALL LECTURES (stop skipping lectures) go back hall and sleep then wake up do miscellaneous important hall stuff and start studying again till late then sleep. you know you can do it. it's just 5 more weeks. =) and know that you're not alone. what you're going through there are hundreds of other people going through the same thing too. you may not be the brightest but remember that you're not the worst either. i hope. haha! i really hope that i am not one of those lousy students. but it's ok. have faith. just work hard and you'll be able to get the results you want. let's just really hope and pray that i would not fail any modules. you can do better. =) believe in urself. let's go! 3 more weeks of school then exam break and let the games begin. >:D

be strong. i'm not alone in this. =)

really really trying my best to cope with uni. it's honestly the shittiest thing i have ever been through. i don't think i have ever hated doing something that much till i went into uni. honestly, having a 9 to 5 job is so much better than battling with all these figures and circuits and everything. and babe's in army now and everything just feels so off kilter and different. i can't believe that i even wrote my mum a letter telling her that i love her and that i appreciate everything that she has done for me. i mean, who does that? but then at this moment, i really love her. and i just have this urge to tell her how much i love her and appreciate her cause it hits me that i may think this way but if i don't tell her she would nv know cause we're not those kind who would openly talk about our feelings.

and i'm trying to study and i just feel like i'm so lost with everything. i shld really focus and get my head in. take the opportunity of babe's being in army to study. and i just miss babe. i didn't realise that i rely on him THIS much. and i just keep thinking about the past. about how much fun we had before uni and army. i rmb the time when we went to mount faber to celebrate my birthday. that walk after that was pretty awesome. haha! these kind of little things that we done would just randomly pop out and make me miss you so much. i don't even know that it's possible to miss someone that much. and i'm so sick of hearing myself say that i miss him so much. i guess in a way uni is also good. it makes me realise and appreciate the things that happen arnd me and to realise how much these people are to me.

and i'm real hungry now. i shld keep studying. i can do it. and i have the time to catch up. jiayou alison. you know that you can do it. you just got to focus. hang in there.

hello hello! uni has officially started and i officially hate it. constantly thinking and toying with the idea of quitting school but then i think it's kind of a bad thing since i think one day my wish would come true and i'll quit school or drop out of school. which is not i want cause i really want to get a freaking degree and get the hell out of there. so jiayou jiayue! i can do it! just mug and mug and mug! immerse urself with good and nice clever people and don't give too much shit with people who are petty and small minded and people whom you cannot trust.
honestly, i don't think i can be close or trust any of my hall mates. and not just because babe thinks that most of them cannot be trusted or anything. it's just that it gets so political and the whole election just seem to bring out the bitchy fked up side of them. i guess i just can't really be bothered and i really just want to do things mainly and plainly because it's fun. i don't get how they can survive all those bitching and gossiping. and to hear them say that so and so is blah and the next thing you know is that they are good buddies with them. oh shut the fk up and get the fk out of my face will you? two face bastards and i don't really care if i didn't turn up for rallies or wadsoever. hello, my life out there is much more important than this hellhole you call fun and awesome home. please. home is back in pasir ris. and wherever babe is. not this back stabbing political shit place. gosh. sometimes i just want to roll my eyes and ask them to just shut up. but then nah. i shall not stoop so low and just remove myself from all that crap. ignorance is bliss and i'm just here to have fun. not stir up shit.
just focus on your studies alison! you can do it. you know you can do it. dun scare urself shitless cause you don't know how to do. ask people and you will know. you can do it! GOGO!
just remember the people that love you and nv lose sight of urself. =)
i can do this. i can survive another 14 days of babeless days. although my mood and feelings swings here and there that sometimes i feel like such a mess. be strong. there's still pig and yi and love and youm. so happy that pig came over to stayover. ^^ we would be such awesome roomies like really. i would love to be in hall more i guess. and then i'll just be really anti social and just be in our own two person's world. haha! i would be rid of all those shit man. blame it on me to not be able to function without someone else. =/ feel so needy.
oh god. i'm just going on and on and i'm so tired.
bottomline is, i love you. pig, yi, youm, babe and love. i really do. i will promise myself to not lose sight of myself and remember the people that truly love me. dun be some bitch because of people that mean nth and would eventually fk ur life up or backstab you. know who's good and who's bad.

i sure have come a long way from being that happy go lucky couldn't give a flying fuck to careful threading where i go me. uni sure changes people.
oh god this is just so negative. but yea! i just want to say that i love you guys and that i will jiayou for studies. and i really want to thank you girls for being there for me. for picking up my phone and hear me whine and to put aside my fears when i get cold feet about school. thank you. i love you and i'm sure as hell is grateful for you guys in being in my life.
and babe. i know you can't see this, but hang in there alright? i don't know what would come our way but all i know right now at this moment is that i want to be there for you no matter wad and that at the end of the day i still love you and you're the only one that i want to be with. we can do this and we shall do it. =) love you! and honestly, i think it's pretty cool to be in the army still! haha! so go kick some ass and be my idol! :D

i love you girls! thanks for being there. you have no idea how much it means to me. =) ♥

it's not hard for me to love you
because you are the world to me

so sweet of you to heist so much pens and marker from ur mum's shop for me! haha! you're such a sweetheart. i love you!

hall camp is over. and i would say that i enjoyed it. although i haven really made any really close really reliable friends but hey one step at a time right? soon school is really starting and things will get really busy. i hope it does actually so that i wouldn't have much time to fester and think too much or miss babe too much. he's going into army soon and i would say that the future is bleak. but somehow part of me really feel that it is gonna be alright in the end. cause love would prevail. it would bring us back together when we're lost. when we forgot what loving each other feels like. i really truly want to believe it. it's gonna be really tough. but if it's meant to be it's meant to be right? i honestly can't imagine life without you. i mean you're the one who i go to when things get shitty. you're the one whom i look for to share a good news with. good or bad you're the one that i want to experience and go through it with. that shld mean something isn't it? it scares me how relationships could end so easily. i don't know.
basically all i want to say is, i really really wish with the bottom of my heart that everything would turn out fine and that the upcoming 4-6 years would not break us up. i believe we can do it! but believing and doing it is totally different so yea. i hope that you have some faith. i want you to have faith. have faith in me just like how i have faith in you. us. we can do it if we want to. =) may the force be with us and come what may, i will always love you till the end of time. :)

hall camp's gonna start in less than 10 mins. LOL! so not rushing down to meet new friends. plus i'm too lethargic and cranky to make friends now. ouh well. may the force be with me. i think i'll just be an anti social ass. sleeping alone at night doesn't feel tt bad anymore. or at least that's how i feel. but then i wouldn't trust what i feel these days since it ranges from hysterical to lunatic. living alone sure is something that i would kill myself before i can get accustomed to it. i hate the quietness. oh god. may the force be with me to survive 6 lame ass looooong days. i miss the east alr. LOL.

so! i'm gonna shift in to hall tmr. in less than 24 hours. and tonight would be the last night i'll be home. ok. i make it sound like i'm going in to the army or something. but i think it's somewhere near! it is half way across the country after all!
and i haven packed anything at all. tmr's gonna be a mad rush. though i've alr wrote down a list of things to bring. but ouh well... i guess i'm just putting it off as late as possible so tt the fact tt i'm really shifting in is not as real.  ouh well.. some self delusional is good once in a while.

alright. that babe of mine just woke up and made me feel a hell lot better. =) oh i'm so needy i could slap myself. and i think night time is a weakness of mine. it just exposes you. all those vulnerability. and thoughts that consume you. it's the time of the day where ur guard is down and you just feel so alone and you're just craving for another presence to talk to or make some contact with.

ok. get my emotions in control and kick ass. i can do it. =)

hi, so i've been trying to get myself mentally prepare for change to happen. school's starting in less than a month and gotta start shifting in to hostel in two to three weeks. shit just got real. and it's happening. i feel so lazy and i have this mentality that i don't need to know any more friends. i have enough of them right now in my life alr. i don't see the need to have anymore. =/ life's awesome just the way it is nowwww. so why is it changing?! ok fine. i just hope i don't gain weight when i'm there. i hope i have the motivation to run those bloody hills of ntu and not the mind of a weakling who goes to supper every night. i long for a lean toned body with a flatter stomach. see?! it's not a very far fetched goal. i just want my previous weight back. just 7 kgs. i don't need a stomach tt have abs. just flatter. tt's not unrealistic right? i honestly believe that i can do it. just that i'm too lazy. every cell on my body screams to go shed off those extra fats. but it's just too lazy. why?! why am i this lazy?! i'm lazy and then here i am envying and hating everyone of them who has long toned legs and a cinched waist. oh alison. what a letdown you are. but then again i just don't have the motivation to go run. and sweat. i hate running. i hate the process of running. i just wish i can run without me knowing that i ran and then get me to wake up when i run finish. ok it's not possible. i hate it. i hate the feel of every single cell in my lungs crying and begging me to stop. i hate the feel of my legs being forced to take another step forward. ok that's bullshit. i haven been running that much recently to feel like that. my legs surprisingly still have the energy to run another kilometer and another and another. it's just my lungs and stamina. you see? the thing is i know i can do it. that is why i just keep putting it off to the next day and the next day until i realise that being fatter is NOW. oh i'm such a contradiction. and i just have this urge to talk and talk and talk till the night ends and the day starts. i'm such a weird thing.

it's so irritating when every little thing happening around you just rubs you off the wrong way and pissed you off.
i have no idea where did all that angst or crankiness comes from but i just can't help it.
i can only blame the impending huge change for the cause of it.
when a change is looming all you're trying to do is try to keep whatever that's left the same as it is. but i guess it only causes things to change faster.
and when that happen, your natural reaction is to guard your heart. and tt's not a pretty side but then hey! tt's all you got left.

"It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace." 

have you ever thought how much we actually know in comparison to what we CAN know in this whole universe?
there's just so so much out there that has not even be discovered and probably those that we have discovered we only know that 1%. and what we already know is only just the surface of the topic there's so much more depth to it than we thought possible. 
part of the reason why i really really want to go stargazing is that then we can sort of put things into perspective of how small and insignificant we are than to the WHOLE universe. 
when you just look up to millions of miles above you that consist of a billion more other things that exists in this whole world. that's gonna make your problems that you think is so big seems so small. probably then you'll be scared that you only know so little things about the whole world. 
lets not talk about how big the UNIVERSE is. just take the internet for example. minus away the porn that's still alot of shit that we have not been to or stumbled upon.
i blame babe's discovery channel and bbc knowledge for all this. all those How Do They Do It. Mega Builders or whatever. come to think of it, it's pretty mindfking actually.
i don't know. it's just some random blabber. 

Singapore is an awesome place. safe secure sheltered bright. probably too safe. too secure too sheltered and WAY too bright. i've always dream of going to just hide somewhere dark and look up the skies. or go to a drive through movie theater. long roads of nothing but just the mountains on the left and the vast oceans at the right. going down a road that leads to another place for you to discover and uncover. 
the world is just too big to uncover in one lifetime. 

then comes love. love is something that exists. but not something that can be hold. not physically anyway. has it ever cross your mind that what you're feeling for someone is conditional love or unconditional love? i once watch a show. a channel 8 show actually (kinda amazed that they actually have good substance) that talks about love and marriage. it said that (in my own words) conditional love is all around and that you don't realise that you're actually giving a conditional love. when you do something for someone, you would expect that someone to be happy and to acknowledge the fact that you did that for him/her right? that's conditional love. cause you expect them to repay that act of love or kindness. you might say but that's the most basic thing! but then again no one asked you to do that particular act of kindness or love. when you do it it's something that you want to do it voluntarily out of your own goodwill. not every one would take it as a goodwill. some people just take it for granted. but then again when you do it you still feel good that you have done it whether the person appreciates it or not right? so if you're willingly doing that act for whatever reason it is. don't expect anything in return. whatever it comes after is a bonus. that is not to say to be stupid and continue doing something for an asshole or something you get my drift but yeah.
i guess the bottomline is that if you do something, do it for yourself. do it because it makes you feel good about urself. not because you want the other person to be happy. of course! if the other person is happy and appreciates it in return then tt's good. but if the other person doesn't then it's fine. don't be sad cause it goes unnoticed. be happy that you're the bigger person. 


i have no idea where did all of that come from. but hey! doesn't hurt to sound intellectual once in a while. haha! :)


come to think of it, everything in life is absurd.
it's just the way you see it.

we only accept the love that we think we deserve.

happy birthday to me!
yay! not. =/ it feels like so damn weird and probably one of the most sad birthday ever. something doesn't feel right and i can't really put my finger on it.
it just feels like any other normal day just tt it's maybe worse. maybe the fact that it's my birthday just made it more worse. it's not that there's no surprises or whatsoever. the feeling is just wrong. didn't think that i'll be that affected by just a number but then i guess i really dun want to turn TWENTY so soon. =/ it's just wrong that i'm twenty. might be illegal or something. =/ it's the big TWO-oh. or maybe i'm just blowing this out of proportion.
and it doesn't help that my dajie is being a fking bitch. though it might help if i'm able to give her a good fking bitch slap. =/ my birthday has only past for 2 hours and 25 minutes and it's not going good.
let's just hope it doesn't get worse as the day goes.
and i just totally sound like an ungrateful bitch for typing all that. =/
sorry. i really still appreciate the thought of babe trying to give me a surprise and make me a card. plus those minions! :D i love it. and thanks. 

so! it's been a long time.
back from thailand and then graduation day was over. kinda sad and now there isn't really much to look forward to anything anymore. =/

thailand has been pretty awesome! just chilling everyday and then having fun and going for adventures in krabi while shop till we all drop and broke in bangkok. hehehe! interesting stuff happen in bangkok! probably never gonna happen again and was pretty shocked when it happened! what were they thinking when they did it?! HAHAHA! but still pretty fun. :D and i guess going overseas would somehow just experience and see each and everyone's other side of them.. as in you're constantly in close contact with each other so as time goes you probably would get irritated with each other or something. kinda argued with babe there but then again i guess it's normal. just feel like after traveling miles away and i'm still being restricted. but then again i know it's also for my own good.. that alina and babe wants to take care of me and if anything were to happen to me they would also be blamed. BUT STILL! we're in thailand. and it's really nth i can do if i'm such a klutz all the time and don't really watch where i'm going. =/ come to think of it.. isn't that how you (babe) is able to jio me? hehehe! ok but you know i still love you and you have done an awesomely tremendous job bringing us around thailand and coordinating the whole thing. that's why i love you so much! ^^ :D

oh! and we may have did crazy things like throwing a water filled condom 10 floors down to the hotel pool.. we MAY. i didn't say we did. heh.

so comes graduation. just like that and three whole years are gone. till now although i still have no idea what to do with my diploma but i still didn't feel like i have chosen the wrong course to enter. many people asked me if i regretted and i can cross my heart and hope to die that i did not regret my choice. not once. =) not only did it let me know babe which is one of the best things that happended to me in poly, but it also gave me three whole years of awesome fun and great friends. ok i wouldn't say tt i would keep in touch with half of my polymates but they have been awesome and we had lots of memories together. not to mention the LTT times. it's the best time EVER in my poly life. :D we have all grown up in the past three years i got to say.
from this

to this

it almost feels like it took magic to happen.
hahahaha! it has really been an awesome journey. not to mention Laos OCP. it was such an eye opener and really a life experience. =) i'm really glad that i had the chance to experience all of that in just three years. i miss it alr.

well... all good things must come to an end i guess. and no matter what happen at least the memories will always live. =) thanks though. to everyone who had been in my life all these years and made my life so awesome. i've never regretted anything that happened in my life before and i would say tt my life has been awesome up till now. :D i love all of you and i just wish that we had more memories tgt. =) hee! cheeeeeesy!
yea alright. this is only the beginning of an end.
WE GOT DIPS ON LIFE! :D

ok! something before i fly off to THAILAND! :D
just feels really weird! i guess i just can't believe that the day i've been waiting for has finally came and i'm really actually going after so much stuff happened!
and i can't help but feel like there would be bad stuff happening! =/
let's hope not.. pray for my safety!
and ok! i'm REALLY EXCITEDDD! OMG! hehe.
ok i don't really have much to say except i'm excited. HAHAHA! LOVE YOU GIRLS AND BYEEE! :D
 the adventure beckons! 

even blogger has a freaking new look.
what's with change? can't things just stay as it is forever once in their entire life?!
why must change be a constant? all that talk that gemini's are adaptive to change and everything. tt's utter bullshit. i hate it. if i had the choice i'll just leave everything as it is the same way as it was.
besides... i may be able to adapt to it but tt doesn't mean that i welcome it or want it.
uni stuff is fucking the whole thing up.
what with the receiving of enlistment letter all around me and the ntu acceptance letters.. it just scares me and really put things into perspective that all these shit is really going to happen and not just something that you're planning for and bring up once in ur 3 years of poly life.
i miss poly life. i miss school. i miss secondary school. i don't want to go into uni. i have never been less prepared for school than i am right now. yes it's still early but i dun think i'm going to change my mind so quickly. and i don't want to move half way across the country.
i love the east. i want to be in the east. maybe i'll just brave the 2 hours long commute back and forth school if i have to.
fuck this shit. all these things are really dampening my mood and excitement for the thailand trip.
it's gonna be a shitty trip and i'm gonna be staying with someone that i can't really stand recently. will never ever get what is going through her mind and it's just tiring to keep trying to put some optimism in the ever so pessimistic brain of hers.
oh damn it. i hate it when the night is just fking with ur brain with all these loaded thoughts.
fffffffffffffffffffu! *flips table!

was looking through tumblr and it suddenly hit me that there are just so much out there that we have not seen or been.
the world is so much more bigger than we ever ever imagined and it is just so full of beauty and the wilderness is just calling out your name to explore it that you don't really know where to start.
you read all of it on the internet but then the internet could only bring you the awesomeness to a small extend. to actually feel it and see it you got t go around and explore it urself to know and see firsthand how magnificent it is.
and it's scary at the same time. cause there's just so much out there that i'm afraid i'm not able to see it and experience all of it in this lifetime.
kinda sad that nature gave us such a beautiful place to be in but we got side tracked and blinded by other things such as money to stop us from seeing the world.
i just want to have the courage and the freedom and ability to go and see around the world and the beauty nature gave us.
even the most simplest thing such as star gazing is not possible here in singapore. guess it's not that easy to just see the world then. =/
it's a pity really. ouh well.
that's life i guess.

pretty eventful period time of my life i would say.
went for an interview for NTU's Linguistics and it just hit me how much we have grown and how scary it is to start all over and then go into another new environment.
and i hate to say this but somehow aft being attached i just feel that going into a whole new environment is a scary feeling and not something that i would look forward to or something that i'm okay with. instead i feel like i'm going into a whole new other world kind of feeling and everything just feels scary not like before.
i dunno what i'm talking about but yea. i'm just not that psyched for a new environment anymore.
BUT MOVING ON!

i've also went to have my first ever driving lesson! :D
heehee! it's kinda fun! and cannot wait to get my driving license actually! hehehe!
looking forward to my next lesson! hope i'll be a pro driver! :D
and i can't wait for thailand trip too! think it'll be interesting.. although things has not been going the way that i wanted but i know that i can make the best out of it and have a good time. =)

i dunno.. i just feel like lots of things have happened these past weeks. and right now i feel like there are lots of love right now and it's just gonna explode with love and happiness or something! hahaha! that is if i dun feel so tired.
i guess sometimes we just got to hit a wall to actually stop and look around us and then to realise what we already have with us than to just keep looking forward and just keep finding for something more.
i dun think i'm making anymore sense so i shall stop.

i'm glad that all of us found us a guy that we love and more importantly who loves us twice as much. =)
got to remind myself that there would always be someone better out there.. but none that would understand and know and tolerate all my nonsense like babe does.
guess sometimes i'll just lose myself into looking for finer things in life that i forget how lucky i am and to actually see that what i have now is already amazing enough.

and i dunno how it could get better than this.

hehe! i'm back from taiwan trip! :D
it was pretty awesome! shld totally upload the loots we got!
bought 4 pairs of shoes. 3 or 4 bags and like 10 plus tops/dresses/shorts.
LOL! doesn't feel enough! and it's only for me! not including my two sissies stash!
we're crazy! dad's awesome for not complaining tt we're buying too many bags and shoes.. hehe! :D

i'm feeling pretty happy now! :D i love it when i'm happy! it makes everything looks pretty and amazing and every little thing seems like chocolate lava cake with ice cream and extra toppings with sprinkles and cherry on top! HEHEHE! :D
sinful much.
speaking of food! omg. craving for taiwan's ji pai NOWWW!
=( been eating so much it's so fat my muffins are out! OMG.
need. to. run. desperately!
shall persevere... try two weeks of intensive trng! :D
yes i can!

and in reply to yi's question on her blog..
hahaha! asked babe bout it and he said tt those pretty awesome down to earth and clever girls doesn't exist! and if they do well.. they're taken alr either tt or they would like those bad boys and friendzone those good guys (eg our awesome boyfriends)! which makes sense and is true. :D but then again.. i don't think such girls exist! NO ONE IS PERFECT. she probably have a bad side tt we never know of. like.. jealousy.. posessive.. who knows? it's a blog my dear girl! and if it's high profile i don't think anyone would just say out their bad or negative sides right? haha!
and i asked babe why wouldn't he think of wanting to get tgt or try their luck with tt perfect or dream girl.. and he said cause you're my pikachu. hehe. this is mushy but i'm just answering yi's question! it's like Ash... there are lots of other good pokemons out there but Ash still chose pikachu mah right?! and you may think tt charmander or some other pokemon is awesome but no matter who it is they still have one weakness right? am i making sense here now? LOL!
so yea! YI! GH choose you got reason one! and i like tt he's making you think maturely! ^^

hee! told you everything looks like chocolate lava cake with ice cream and extra toppings with sprinkles and cherries on top! :D

ok i'm making myself hungry now.
shall drool over my ji pai picture. =(
I CHOOSE YOU! hehehe!

oh oh! and one more thing! and Ash still choose pikachu even after it evolves and become an ugly fug. but hey! tt's love right? :D

just enjoying life right now.
working whenever i can to earn some money so i wouldn't be broke!
feels like i'm gonna spend a lot of money in the coming months! gotta save if i wanna not work aft my thailand trip. =/

working at Hawker Pacific for two weeks! so lazy to work. just feel so weird. i dunno why.. but just weird.. and recently i just feel like i have really very few friends. but then again it's the quality and not the quantity tt counts right? hahaha! but still, somehow recently i just feel like you really can't depend too much on anyone.
ur girlfriends would always be there.. true. but then once one has a boyfriend or a partner it would just change no matter what we say or try to deny.
you would try to meet up and spend time and text and sms but your priority is still ur partner whether you admit it or not. that's not saying tt it's not good but then there would always be this slim chance tt it might not work out with your partner and if it really doesn't and you have unknowingly and subconciously alienating ur girlfriends then you would be left with nothing right?

i dunno... just feeling quite pessimistic and irritated and cranky and every little negative stuff.
i shall go get some sleep and sleep it off.

Happy Valentine's Day! :D
hehehe! v'day isn't really much of a hype now..
i still rmb i would go buy ferrero rocher or sweets or kisses and wrap them up in small little presents and bring it to school and give it to classmates. haha!
and boys will be boys they would act stupid when i pass it to them. HAHAHA! ouh well.. but it was fun! =)
this year i dun have any school and having just celebrated our first year tgt it isn't much and counting on the fact tt we had bah chor mee on vday last year we're going to relive the tradition!
kinda cool! heehee!
anywho.. what i want to say is that,
happy valentine's day babe! it's just another day for us but hey! who doesn't like an excuse to feel even more love right? heehee! i love you lots and thanks for being there for me ALWAYS. even when i least deserve it. =)
it gets hard sometimes but rmb what i told you before? that we just have to learn how to fall in love with each other again and again. =)
i love you! and happy v'day! :D

i love falling in love with you.

just a quickie on my iphone. hehehe! bear my typos!

somehow i couldn't sleep and as usual the mind wanders to lots of places.

right now i'm in this place in life where i either continue with my studies or enter the adult working world. it's kind of a major life changing for me and i guess either way would change the life that i have now. it's a scary thought. but well. we can't really do anything bout it. tt's life i guess. all we can do is just pray that we are doing the right thing and won't regret our choices in the future. it's been a long time since i said this. but whatever is meant to be will be. somehow i sort of forgot about tt for a period of time. but now. i think i see this more clearly and probably in a new perspective. i may not choose the right path but i guess somehow even though it's the wrobg path as long as i try to make it right and make use of the situation be it bad or good i still can make it become a life that i want to live as and worth living. :)

i feel like i'm enlightened suddenly! hahaha! and one more thing. i realised that i have been trying so hard to get babe to try and get along with my family. i guess i have been trying too hard which is why it's having a negative effect. it may not because of that or maybe it's some other reasons that probably not have a good result. but either way i guess i forced things too much alr. i forgot abt what's meant to happen will happen and what will be, will be. so i shall just let it be and not fret or want so much. i'll just take things as it goes and one step at a time. if it's really meant to be things would work out in the end and if not when time comes i guess it can be proved that love conquers all. :) tt's another thing tt i have forgotten. hahaha! what have i been sticking my head into for the past few mnths? ouh well. just enjoy while it lasts and may true love lasts. ^^ it may or may not have a happy ending but it would still be a beautiful story.

happy one year babe. :)

let's see if we can get through the next two years! haha! hope we do. love you! :)

be it pms or my attitude change or my tolerance level has decrease... fk everything.
having a sister being such a fking pain in the ass bitch.
it's like no one can control her anymore and she know the fact and she just doesn't give a shit about other ppl's feelings at all. she does wad she want and even mum and dad can't do anything bout her.
wants to give her a tight slap to wake her up but i guess no one dares to for god knows what reason.
one day i would really pluck up the courage to do so. fk the fact tt i'm the youngest and with the least say in anything.
just cause she thinks tt she has money she can do anything.
both my sisters doesn't even care a shit about the house and all that do is just keep nagging. they don't even have the slightest right to nag at me.
fking fked up sister. what was i even thinking.. hoping tt she come back..
just three days into her return and she fks everything up alr.
FK YOU.

just feels like everyone wants a piece of me..
i'm not saying tt i'm great or wad...
but it just seem like when everyone is having a bad period they just come to me like i can make magic and make everything better.
and when i say something and nobody hear or heeds wad i say they would just continue complaining that they life sucks and blah blah blah what not.
you don't like somethign that happen in ur life?
FKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
if you don't want to do anything about it dun come and tell me and ask me for advice.
what the fuck you want me to do?!

omg. fking hell. been sometime since i'm this pissed.
fk it.