it is super scary and freaky and pretty mind blowing to know that you played a huge part in someone's life.
it's one thing to know that you're important to someone... but another to know that someone can't live without you.
you get what i mean?!
it's freaky! and so much pressure!
ok.. shall not think bout it.

clubbing yesterday night! =)
was pretty awesome! HAHAHAHA!
i'm getting too old for this! =/
my legs feels like it's going to break after that.
to think tt i actually survived 6 hours of wearing heels!
i think i'm pretty awesome!
LOL!

ohoh! AND DID I MENTION I PASSED MY BTT?!
muahahahahaha! awesome.
almost failed! omg.
but i passed anyway...
shall save moneyyyyy.. i shld start working.
shld start saving money..
so i can travel. and get my license.
and go shopping and eat lots of food!
heh. ok.
i need time and money.
i dun have time to go earn money!
or do i?
hmmm...
i'm not going anywhere with this.

i miss pig! =(
i miss lots of things!
i miss hanging out with WWY.
can you guys rmb the last time we actually just sit someplace and chat and talk nonsensical stuff?
i'm feeling weird. =/
must be the after effect.
bye.

i dare you to let me be your one and only.

imma good girl

alright... i've thought it through.
complaining and whining and bitching bout all tt unfairness isn't going to do me any good.
truth is, it'll never be enough.
even when i think it's enough it's never enough.
c'mon! i'm irresistible. everyone wants a piece of me right? :D heh.
so i shall be a good girl. or act like one. till things are alright and more or less balance. =)
guess there won't be any late nights for me for the time being.
gonna go borrow more books to kill time then.
see! it's not that hard alison! :D
right. let's just hope things would get better before i kill myself from all that good in me.

guess sometimes all i need is someone to remind me how awesome my life is.
and that i'm really a lucky bitch where people around me loves me even though i'm crazy.
you know what? i don't think i'm the crazy one here now.
i think you guys are the crazy ones!
it's crazy you guys are still there for me even though i'm so crazy and demented!
hahaha! damn i love you guys! :D

batam cable ski trip and class chalet and clubbing coming up soon!
a good thing really... get me away from all the crazy stuff going on for the time being.
might be a good thing for my parents too... make them get used to my wee bit of absence so that when i'm back in front of them they won't complaint that much!
either that or they'll just continue complaining tt i'm not there the whole time.
let's hope it's the former. heh.
not to mention Laos trip!
i'm gonna fly on the 3rd and come back on the 13! :D
kinda looking forward to 10 days of no parents supervision.
hehehe! relax girlz. i'm not going to do anything crazy!
what crazy stuff can i even do right? LOL!
alot actually but c'mon... i've never been out on an overseas school trip before!
gotta take tt chance to do something crazy right?

hehehe! alright.
let's just hope all these positive thinking sticks with me throughout this whole thing.
especially in the night.
there's even a curfew on using the phone.
how nice. =/
ouh well. i shld stop complaining and count my blessings!
HAHAHAHA! ohmygod! count my blessings... trust me to still rmb tt phrase.
heh. you know i love you! =)

oooookay.
i feel very restricted. =/
for everything.
somehow there's this unspoken rule.
and even though my dad didn't say it... somehow a curfew is being set alr.
and even though my house is very big... but somehow i dun feel like i have my own privacy!
i dun have my own little private corner. =/
i don't think i've ever complaint bout not having my own room...
and if i'm not wrong i actually don't want to have my own room.. =/
cause it's scary! but now..
i think having my own room would be nice.. =/
you can stay up the whole freaking night and no one would know or scold you.
ohmygod.
i want to shoot someone.
i want alot of things.
i feel greedy!
i shld stop feeling greedy.
and i probably shld stop contradicting myself.
i hate it when i contradict myself.
actually.. no.. i kinda like it.
i think i'm weird.

i'm going crazy.
where was i?
oh. i feel restricted.
i hate being the youngest in the family.
they keep thinking i'm still young/small/immature or wadever fill in the blanks.
things weren't even that strict before lah!
or maybe it is.. just tt i cbb. =/
so why shld i bother now right?
i dunno... wad am i doing?!
why am i killing my limited brain cells?!
ok stop.
and now i feel restricted here.
later you guys read wadever tt is here and think wth am i going on and on bout my love life. =/
and i can't think of the last time i gave a fk bout wad you guys think. =/
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!
i need to find alison back.
i'm losing my sanity!
PIG YOUM YI! i'm losing my touch.
we need to meet moreeee!
thursdays dinner is not enough!
how bout... every alternate days?! :D
hehehe! ok
i'm going crazy.

you know i love you guys still.
even though i'm going crazy.
I LOVE YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU! :D
and you know you love me!
hehehe! XOXO.

been spending quite some time with my family. =)
things have been okay! which is good...
but i miss wanyi and youm though.
we need to meet up often!
omg. and pig's gonna start her internship tmr alr!
shit. means lesser time to meet?! =(
and soon i'm going to Laos!
hehehe! kinda excited for it! but shall not expect too much.
things always turn out sucky if i expect or look forward to something too much.

finally went clubbing after three months!
i'm a good girl k?! i said i didn't go in tt three mnths and i really didn't!
=)
heh! but i didn't get to really dance with pig though! =(
it's ok! NEXT TYM! GO PHUTURE! dun go ZOUK!
:D the music is more awesomeeeee!
and clubbing feels different now that i'm attached.
hehehehe.. i'm attached. it's so weird.
anyway! it's different! like... i have to constantly remind myself tt i have a bf and tt i can't really go crazy and stray... =/
but it's better than not going at all!
so i shall not complaint!
you win some you lose some right?
hahaha! :D

and i'm catching up on my sleeeeeep!
back to sleeping 12 hours a day!
it feels good! HAHAHA!
heh! BYE! :D

spending the day with ahkent was pretty awesome!
din realised i miss him until i saw him!
hehe! training with him again was definitely fun! =)
and i'm proud of myself!
swimming 30plus laps and one whole round at bedok reservoir with a bloody slope after that was pretty awesome and satisfying! :D
it makes carls jr. after that not as sinful.. hehe!
although all tt swimming and running just went to nth but still awesome! :D
LOL!
and i can't believe i just spent 80bucks in less than half an hour to replenish my lost swim stuff.
but i kinda like it! HEHEHE!
if i lose it again i think i'll just kill myself.. =/

i am really enjoying my holidays!
it feels so good to be finally doing things other than workshops and studying and all tt stuff.
just taking things and planning things one day at a time.. =)
ouh well... enjoy while it lasts! :D
and i suddenly have this urge to do something crazy... =/
like.. dye my hair blonde. or bleach it! or something.
get a naval piercing? or a tattoo.. hehehe!
okok.. i shld stop thinking bout it before i go crazy and really do it.
wheeeeeeeee!

this too shall pass.

hahahaha! :D
well... LTT IS FINALLY OVER! :D :D :D
omggggg! damn happy! it's like... I CAN FINALLY SLEEP!
i don't know.. i'm just so glad that it's over and done with!
hehehe! i don't really care so much right now.
i think i can rot at home for days and not complaint.
maybe i shld do tt. hehehe!
my bed! ahhh my awesome awesome bed!
i'm gonna accompany you more now! don't you miss me? :D

heeheehee!
my nails looks good right now! :D
i love the colourrrrr.. hahaha! i feel like a girl now!
it's been a long time since i feel this way.
after wearing tt oversized shirt everyday with jeans and converse.
i feel like a dude!
hehehe! i could do it like a dude!

and i'm still so tired from sleep debt i can't blog right now.
wheeeeeeeeeeee! :D

young love was such dumb love.
call it what you want, we're still in love.

i'm scared.
like fking scared.
and it's scary to feel so scared.
it's seriously too much for my comfort.

when you said those words.
i was seriously tongue tied.
but now i could safely say that i am not the only one who felt this way.
i thought it was just me.. but i guess not.
that's a good thing.
heh! good to know that it's affecting you like it's affecting me!
all i can say is...
it's too late already. i'm in too deep.

guess all i can do now is take the risk.
jump then fall right?
=)

Good relationships don’t just happen.
They take time, patience and two people who truly want to be together.

dad's making it hard for me.
i have no idea why... he doesn't seem to understand.
stuck in between. wtf.

and right this moment i don't feel wad i'm supposed to feel.
like even if i want it to end it would be just a horrible timing and everything would just sucks even more.
i'm scared that what i think this is IS what it is.
and that's not a good thing.
it would actually be the worst thing.

i'm just so fking tired.
i want everything to just end.
i guess it's partly my fault.
for not being able to spend more time...
shit. it just all comes down to the same problem isn't it?
fuck it.
bye.