scary.
seriously. ignorance is bliss.
shld not have known anything at all.
ok. i've known it alr. just tt it came back again.
super scary.. like the world is suddenly this cold place.
like.. you really can't trust anyone.
even when frens who you think is close to you and treat you super nice on the surface is just a farce.
what the hell is this world?
damnit.
probably kinda just screw up something.
ouh well. may or may not matter anyway.
haiz. life's scary.

all i can say is tt... thank whoeveritisupthere for love yi pig and youm!
wad am i gonna do without them.
hope this world has more love than i thought there is.

and you couldn't have love me better.

i may have finally put my finger on why i'm feeling what i have been feeling recently.
the feel of wanting to do new things and trying out crazy stuff and just to feel crazy.
i guess it's just that people around me are just going on happily with their life and doing stuff like nth has change that i feel like everyone's moving ahead of me and leaving me behind.
guess having friends who go into uni isn't just affecting their own lives but also the lives of the people arnd them.. (or maybe it's just me)
it's kinda scary. i dunno. i dun like feeling this way.
but i'm pretty sure that i'm not the only one who thinks that way too.
ouh well. things sure are getting kinda weird though.

if it's meant to be, then you will see.

holidays!
it's going crazy.
i dunno... so many things are happening i don't even know where it start or even where it stops.
everything's just going on simultaneously that i just can't be bothered to follow up anymore.
probably the weirdest holiday ever and it's just started only.
lost friendships are found (hopefully) and some friendships just start going weird.
guess somewhere along the way we just got lazy to contact one another and blaming each other is the easiest thing to do.

in the past, things around me just keeps changing. but that's fine. since change is a constant. and also it just feels like even though things are changing the anchor of my world is still gonna keep me in line. to give me a strong hold and to allow me to see a bigger and better picture of what's going on.
but then now i guess the anchor of my life are also changing along with every other thing in the world. feels so lost for a moment and still trying to find a way back and to hold down that anchor so that it would stop moving.
have you ever sit in a teacup? and you just keep twirling the wheel so that you'll just go round an d round and round until your world just starts spinning out of control?
yea. that's wad it feels like. only it doesn't stop.

i think we just keep trying to keep up with things and to make things look or feel awesome and basically just rushing for something that we don't know what is it that we're rushing for.
it's like suddenly you stop and then think.
wad's all these crazy ass scrambling around for.
i dunno. so confused. so lazy. so tired. to think of anything.to figure out what all this is about and wad exactly is going on with life. my life.
it just feels.. out of the world and nth seems to feel the way it is supposed to feel.
or maybe it wasn't supposed to feel like that in the first place.
huh. see. confusing.
shall stop all the mindfk and go sleep.
and i need to stop being a weakling. it's not bringing me anywhere. and not doing any good for me.
get a grip.

we were never meant for do or die.

sisters are the most fked up species ever.
they can treat you oh so nice when their mood permits them and just fk you up whenever they feel like it.
seriously. and it's just sisters. it doesn't occur to brothers!
it's really amazing how their attitude is so changeable and it's just so fking irritating.
note to self: nv ever expect things to stay awesome or chummy with sisters when things are going well. you never know when they would feel the need to fk your life up or give you grieve at tt time just because they feel like it.
i'm not going to deny tt i probably does the same thing as them... after all.. i'm still a sister.
just that i'm pretty sure i dun give them grieve or fk their life up as often as i would like.
fk sisters seriously.
can't live without them. can't live with them.