holidays!
it's going crazy.
i dunno... so many things are happening i don't even know where it start or even where it stops.
everything's just going on simultaneously that i just can't be bothered to follow up anymore.
probably the weirdest holiday ever and it's just started only.
lost friendships are found (hopefully) and some friendships just start going weird.
guess somewhere along the way we just got lazy to contact one another and blaming each other is the easiest thing to do.

in the past, things around me just keeps changing. but that's fine. since change is a constant. and also it just feels like even though things are changing the anchor of my world is still gonna keep me in line. to give me a strong hold and to allow me to see a bigger and better picture of what's going on.
but then now i guess the anchor of my life are also changing along with every other thing in the world. feels so lost for a moment and still trying to find a way back and to hold down that anchor so that it would stop moving.
have you ever sit in a teacup? and you just keep twirling the wheel so that you'll just go round an d round and round until your world just starts spinning out of control?
yea. that's wad it feels like. only it doesn't stop.

i think we just keep trying to keep up with things and to make things look or feel awesome and basically just rushing for something that we don't know what is it that we're rushing for.
it's like suddenly you stop and then think.
wad's all these crazy ass scrambling around for.
i dunno. so confused. so lazy. so tired. to think of anything.to figure out what all this is about and wad exactly is going on with life. my life.
it just feels.. out of the world and nth seems to feel the way it is supposed to feel.
or maybe it wasn't supposed to feel like that in the first place.
huh. see. confusing.
shall stop all the mindfk and go sleep.
and i need to stop being a weakling. it's not bringing me anywhere. and not doing any good for me.
get a grip.

we were never meant for do or die.