really really trying my best to cope with uni. it's honestly the shittiest thing i have ever been through. i don't think i have ever hated doing something that much till i went into uni. honestly, having a 9 to 5 job is so much better than battling with all these figures and circuits and everything. and babe's in army now and everything just feels so off kilter and different. i can't believe that i even wrote my mum a letter telling her that i love her and that i appreciate everything that she has done for me. i mean, who does that? but then at this moment, i really love her. and i just have this urge to tell her how much i love her and appreciate her cause it hits me that i may think this way but if i don't tell her she would nv know cause we're not those kind who would openly talk about our feelings.

and i'm trying to study and i just feel like i'm so lost with everything. i shld really focus and get my head in. take the opportunity of babe's being in army to study. and i just miss babe. i didn't realise that i rely on him THIS much. and i just keep thinking about the past. about how much fun we had before uni and army. i rmb the time when we went to mount faber to celebrate my birthday. that walk after that was pretty awesome. haha! these kind of little things that we done would just randomly pop out and make me miss you so much. i don't even know that it's possible to miss someone that much. and i'm so sick of hearing myself say that i miss him so much. i guess in a way uni is also good. it makes me realise and appreciate the things that happen arnd me and to realise how much these people are to me.

and i'm real hungry now. i shld keep studying. i can do it. and i have the time to catch up. jiayou alison. you know that you can do it. you just got to focus. hang in there.