bel said sum stuff todae tt made me think...
she said mayb if i changed my perspective mayb i will see a different side..
i tried to but i can't seem to look frm another perspective...
mayb i'm juz too much of an arsehole to think of wad other ppl think
or mayb wad i think was actually right...
juz when i was about to feel damn evil wif how i treated her...
she changed how i felt juz lyk tt *snap!
and now...here i am..bac to square one...hating her...
wadeva...mayb i'm seriously AM an arsehole in their eyes...
now..even my sis give me attitude juz becuz i did not see a bloody note which i dun even noe exists...
sucker!
and i feel lyk my posts is contradicting one another...
it's lyk in one post i said i will b happy and the other i juz go all sad.. wth?
it's not tt i'm sad all the tym..i oni feel sad when i'm home...or a place i once called home...
i'm realli glad and veri happy to noe the frenz i made now...
i hav three realli great and trustworthy fren...
without them i realli feel lyk all is lost..
i dun wan to walk the path my second sis had walked before
i wanted to make them feel proud bout me...
but sometyms they juz so coincidentally came at the wrong tym and caught me doin some other stuff...
and they will think tt i've been doin tt thing all dae...
i'm so sick of all tis..
i wann break free frm everythin...but now i feel lyk a helpless bird trapped inside a stupid god damn cage..
i'm so sick of everythin..
i realli wish tt one day..when i wake up..everythin will juz disappear and i will b truly happy..
and not half half..
it's not tt i dun wan to b happy..i tried everythin to b happy..but sumhow..the sadness inside me juz hav the power to overtake my emotions...

i don't want to speak these words...
cause i don't want to make things any worse...